Family lawyers blame the breakdown of relationships over the festive period to people spending longer periods of time together and having more opportunity to argue. Also, people have the financial worry of Christmas, as well as the impact of relatives. At New Year, many often make resolutions for the future and decide to give up on their marriage.

If you're thinking of separating from your spouse, here are some issues for you to think about:


FAQs: Splitting up

Do you really want a separation?

One person usually decides to end a relationship, rather than the couple together, but the decision affects everybody and involves them in a long painful process of divorce. It's important that you don't rush at the decision and if you do decide to end the marriage, then speak to friends and professional advisers before going ahead. Try to think about what your new life will be like, as most people do take a drop in their standard of living, and contemplate the impact of divorce on you and your children.


Could you save the marriage?

No one should ever rush into divorce proceedings. It's important for you to think about whether expert counselling may help. No matter how black things may look to you, you may find a way to save your relationship. Over time, problems may work themselves out, anger dissolves and feelings change. With a little patience, you both may be able to resolve your difficulties.

Relate is the main counselling service for people having problems in their relationship. It has centres all over the country and more than fifty years' experience of helping couples in trouble.


What are the immediate concerns if you separate?

You need to think about the arrangements for the children, the change to your banking arrangements and the extra expense of running two households. If domestic violence is a reason for the split or there is an international element to your marriage, then legal action through the courts may well be necessary. If this is the case, you must take legal advice immediately.


FAQs: Divorce

Does it matter who divorces whom?

The disadvantages of not being the one initiating the divorce are that you may be asked to pay for the legal fees and the divorce might be based on your adultery or unreasonable behaviour, and particulars may be provided. If the court grants the divorce and the details of the adultery (or unreasonable behaviour) are not corrected, then you are stuck with these details and this could prejudice your position if accusations have been made about your parenting or about your financial situation.


How long does a divorce take?

An undefended divorce normally takes between four and six months. It depends on the court and how busy it is.


How much does a divorce cost?

The cost of the divorce falls into two parts: the court fees (an initial petition fee of £300 plus a document swearing fee of £7 and the £40 fee for the decree absolute) and the solicitors' fees for preparing the court documents. Although the court fees are set (and they don't include VAT), the solicitors' fees will depend on the amount of time they have spent. If the case is undefended, these will usually be between £700 and £1,000, plus VAT, excluding the court fees. This doesn't include the time spent in dealing with the finances or with children's problems.

If you're interested in saving legal fees, Lawpack produces the DIY Separation & Divorce Kit, priced at £14.99, which contains the forms and advice necessary for you to conduct your own divorce.

Further information
Article: Do I really want a divorce?
Article: Do I need a solicitor for my divorce?
Article: What are the grounds for divorce?
Save legal fees by buying Lawpack's DIY Separation & Divorce Kit